I thought that the anxiety caused by having to deal with the "Phase 2" project of my life vanished after the exam ... Wrong! It is not death, it was only changed: the face of anxiety for the test and not knowing what I will be asked to be passed forward to what I did wrong and the final result.
In short, there is never any respite!
But I want to print on paper (so to speak) the sensations and emotions of those moments, not to forget how it feels.
The uncertainty is compounded by the total and is now unable to do anything: the examination was done, the answers have been given, the crosses were put ... You can not go back!
Yesterday, on the train while returning from Genoa, I tried to think back on all questions of tests and reason above, but my brain refused to take them to memory, I think for a survival instinct to avoid the sudden realization of having done something wrong post REACHED like a bolt from the blue and decreed my moral destruction . I appreciate the thoughtful tilt of my subconscious, but that has prevented me, once I returned home, to bring even a question to my family.
In fact, I remember two: "Which of these countries was an Italian colony?" (Libya) and "Which of these characters Dante meets in hell?" (Farina Uberti). Not much use to remember these two though, because I know I did it right ... Just be sure that only two questions out of 80 ... well ... is not very encouraging!
The next few days will therefore be waiting, not to mention that in any case, I commend to anyone older than me and that is His will that matters ... But it is difficult if you do not coincide with my plans!
inner conflict aspiring Christian ...
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